Feb 9, 2016

I will NOT give up on myself!!

I'm an artist who has struggled with self esteem for my entire life.  Although I feel more confident these days I still get hit with wanting to give up, especially when it feels like no one cares about my artwork enough to purchase it (slow season).  This feeling is completely a lie because I have clients that love their commissioned artwork I created and many others that communicate that they want to work with me in the future.  But here and there the old insecure Darlene pokes her head up and says no one wants you or your work, your not special and no one cares. I have decided to fight this battle!!  I'm continuing to create and when I feel these negative feelings I am repeating:  "I will NOT give up on myself!!!!" I say it several times a day and I say it out loud so not only am I thinking it, I'm also taking the action of verbally saying it, thus it goes into my ears, and I hear it. 



Oct 11, 2015

Waiting to hear back from MichelleB.

If you get this please email me!! You won the owl but I'm not sure how to contact you!?

www.mutoart.com

Sep 23, 2015

2 Owl Painting Give Away by Encouraging Each Other!! Step by step tutorial of How to leave a comment on a blog

Every Encouraging quote that is posted will get your name in the pot for both these owls.  There will be two drawings (one for each owl).  Post comments from now till this Friday at 12:00 noon.



How to post a comment - 
Photos of step by step: 

If you are signed in to your google account it will say it where the finger is pointing. 


If you are not signed in it will say:

Comment as:
Google Account 


Click on where it says "Google Account" it is a drop down menu. Choose the account you prefer to use. 




If you want to use Google/gmail to sign in it will redirect you to this page:

Choose which account you want to use, sign in. 





And your done! 










Sep 6, 2015

Mania.. Manic.. Bipolar.. Borderline.. Whatever..

When good things happen I get excited.. It's like hemophilia of emotion. I lack the natural ability to control emotions. I have to do it in manual mode. When something exciting happens I usually have mental difficulties that include:  focusing, anxiety, fear, and the hardest time sleeping. Falling asleep, that's relatively easy. It's the staying asleep for longer than 3 hours that is difficult.  It's hard to want to go to sleep or back to sleep because I have endless energy like lightning bolts!!! 

So..... I got a (new to me) van to replace my old chevy. I'm so excited that sleep is well.. Lacking. Simon (my cat) helps. He tells me when it's way past bedtime. Prayer helps too. When I feel like I'm out of control I ask God to somehow change my mind from obsessively focusing on a midnight project to wanting to go to bed so I don't screw up the rest of my week. It usually works. 
Once up on this emotional high, even coming down a little to the balanced middle ground comparatively seems like a super low drop and I struggle not to fall into depression. A calm excitement is my goal. I admit it is fun to be exploding with energy but the repercussions of said energy is not worth it. I get nothing done when depressed.. Most people don't. If I fall low enough I get suicidal. I'd like to avoid that scenario at all costs and focus on the calm excitement goal. 

I just proof read this post and it's strange how casual I talk about this depression subject. It's not that strange if you are me and you've gone up so high into the sky to dropping so low I feel like the mere form of existing is an exhausting task. I'm unfortunately used to it. When I'm manic (high) I can't fathom how I get when I'm down & out, when I'm down & out I can't fathom my mania & how I could just get up and be motivated. I feel like two different people that don't know each other yet we share the same body. 

Casting out cares and asking God for his strength is how I've been successful this year. I lived life my way, on my terms for too long with no long term positive results so I decided to... Take a chance and try something new... 
James 1:22 says:  Don't merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves, do what it says. 

This year has been one of the most balanced years I've ever lived. I'm 35. Trying to stay calm during excitement is.... Possible!! Anything is possible with God if I put my trust in him 100%. 














Aug 24, 2015

8/23/15 Standing up to myself, for myself is like ripping out my back bone and stomping on it.

Yes. I have a dark side. I'd like more than anything to hide it from everyone but I'd rather stand up to myself for myself because I am dying inside the more I back down to myself.  If I can't survive with me then that means I need a different route.  I really don't want to throw away everything I have worked so hard for.  So that means I get to stand up to myself for myself and rip out every bone in my body and replace them with real sturdy ones.  I'm learning to love myself, its time to start acting like it.  I am making difficult decisions that make me feel like I am dying but I know I'm not really dying it just feels that way because I am not used to standing up to myself for myself.  I wish I could tell you how intimidating I am to myself but looking at me I just look like some little girl that is not very scary.  I assure you I am scary... inside I am scary to myself and my self worth is attacked on the regular.  I want to see myself as God sees me.  I want to be able to accept myself as God has accepted me flaws and all. I want to fully understand that He loves me just the same as he loves his son.  I am earnestly pleading God, please let me see me as you see me.  I need to see this.  My life depends upon it.

Aug 5, 2015

Monday 8/3/15 A full day of doing...

A full day of stuff

Donated a painting & matching notecard to help with wounded vets, took an hour walk on the river walk in jacksonville, FL at 7am, then helped milk a goat, updated my website, made the discovery my van is severely infested with ants, covered my artwork with a shower curtain (my van still leaks), drove in the rain back to Gainesville, had terrible anxiety, cried my eyes out, bought delicious dried mango slices, picked up artwork from satchels pizza (sold 2 pieces - yipee), called 2 people I owe money to (so I can pay them back), discovered a glitch in my website, went to the library and fixed it, went home, fed Buster and locked up the chickens! A full day!!

Jul 15, 2015

BEGIN at 6am

Starts TODAY, July 15, 2015 6am and ends July 15, 2015 at 10 pm. 

This is Barney The Bright. He is 8"x6" acrylic painting on unstretched canvas. Since this painting is unstretched I will take care of shipping charges. So this one is ABSOLUTELY FREE!!

Details:
Recommend & comment on this blog post for a chance to win. The recommend button looks like this: g+1 . Every comment & every time you recommend my blog adds another chance for you to win.

Sooooo... from 6am-10pm, today, July 15, 2015 comment and recommend my blog as many times as you can to up your chances to win.  Every comment counts so comment a million times!! Please comment with at least one word. 
Posting SPAM will get you reported & disqualified. 

Jul 14, 2015

Just a reminder post for tomorrow's 7/15/15 artwork giveaway.

This is Barney The Bright. He is 8"x6" acrylic painting on unstretched canvas. I will be posting this Painting again on the 15th instructing you to begin. Because this one is unstretched I will take care of shipping charges. So this one is ABSOLUTELY FREE!!

Every time you recommend my blog you get another chance to win (the recommend button looks like this: g+1) and every comment on the post during the 15th 6am-10pm adds to your chances as well. 
Starts July 15, 2015 6am and ends July 15, 2015 at 10 pm. 
Sooooo... from 6am-10pm July 15, 2015 comment and recommend my blog as many times as you can to up your chances to win. 

I will be posting Barney The Bright tomorrow with the subject: "Begin at 6am" that will be the post to comment on, remember every comment counts so comment a million times!! It has to be words it can't be blank. Ok see you tomorrow!!

Jul 13, 2015

7/11/15 Pastel pet portraits

Princess Daisey


Fido


Max


Henry


Liloo


Loki


Buster


Pierce






















7/11/15 More soft pastel pet portraits

Moosey

Furball


Walter


Lana



The Donks


Munich














FREE Painting Giveaway on the 15th!!!

This is Barney The Bright. He is 8"x6" acrylic painting on unstretched canvas. I will be posting this Painting again on the 15th instructing you to begin. Because this one is unstretched I will take care of shipping charges. So this one is ABSOLUTELY FREE!!

Every time you recommend my blog you get another chance to win (the recommend button looks like this: g+1) and every comment on the post during the 15th 6am-10pm adds to your chances as well. 
Starts July 15, 2015 6am and ends July 15, 2015 at 10 pm. 
So from 6am-10pm July 15, 2015 comment and recommend my blog as many times as you can to up your chances to win. 

I will be posting a reminder tomorrow and then it begins at 6am on the 15th!!

Jul 2, 2015

7/2/15 Is downsizing vans possible for my artwork display booth stuff?

I've rearranged how I pack things in my van in hopes of downsizing significantly and being able to fit it all in. I'm thinking Astro van or smaller. Astro would be perfect size but if it's possible to downsize more then well, I can't cross that off my list of possibilities! The better the gas mileage the more road trips I can take! 



I was thinking of I get a minivan I can make a custom rack uptop or possible get a hightop installed. There's lots of possibilities. I used to carry a very similar setup with a Nissan Maxima same walls and similar tent. I just tied things to the top of my car! 

I took out the seat thing and made a custom flat bed. 

I then saw-zawed the brutal between the trunk & back seat to make my very own custom Nossan Maxima station wagon!!

Check out my make shift roof rack!! 

Anyway. I got the job done.. It took forever to get anywhere with the panels on top. Couldn't go faster than 35 or they would lift from the wind. 

Here is the link to my automobile page if you want to read more about the ridiculousness. 

http://www.mutoart.blogspot.com/p/new-page.html?m=1







7/2/15 Is it possible to paint to hard!?

I painted several hours today & yesterday. Today I started experiencing heart palpitations while painting. I decided to take a break run some errands, feed the horses & load my van for tomorrow. After loading... I was sweating a lot and all of a sudden felt ill and weak. I laid down. I may have pushed myself too hard the last 2 days. What do you think? 

I drank some Braggs brand Apple Cider Vineagar. About 1 tbs mixed with water. I'm feeling a bit better. 

7/1/15. Fought a good battle.

I won finally.. in the evening. Fought lethargy, depression, anxiety, anger, impatience, tomorrow might be a new battle. Hopefully I can win tomorrow earlier than today

Jun 19, 2015

6/18/15 A productive day despite a migraine & broken toe

I noticed that in despite of my headache & broken toe I was very productive and in a relatively positive mood. If I can get this much done in a day in difficult circumstances, when I'm in good circumstances maybe it will be easier to over ride the small/medium wrinkles in life.. Let's ponder. What do you think?

May 29, 2015

5/28/15 Pastel Pet Portraits for a limited time

Practice makes better!

Below is the first Soft Pastel Pet Portrait:
Bonzo






In the future I'm anticipating murals with animals in them. I've decided to sketch animals. For a limited time I'm drawing soft pastel pet portraits on 11x14" heavy weight drawing paper. If you like your pet portrait you can purchase it for $25. If you definitly want to purchase a portrait then paying in advance will put you at 1st priority level. Keep in mind I've already received about 125. If interested go to my contact page on my website:  
www.mutoart.com

Email me a message and we will go from there. 
*When I announce the deal has ended I will still be working through the received photographs selling them for the same offered price but will not be taking any new photographs. As of right now I'm still open to receive more photographs. 









May 18, 2015

5/12/15 Having Fun on Vaca


Beets are allowed on the plane!!


Bought some Maple Cream from this barn! Thought the mural was cool! 
Yum. 

Taking selfies by a wooden bridge!


Saw an awesomely bright house! 


Home sweet home!

Shopping for Mother's Day gifts and playing with everything in the stores! 


Sunset on the porch! 

Gathered dead trees out of the blackberry & raspberry patches. 


Saw Dean! 





Saw how the maple hoses are hooked up to trees. Look closely. 

They empty into this classy container. (Season is over, the bucket was empty)
My mother said it takes 40 gallons of the stuff out of the trees to make 1 galling of Maple syrup-that sounds crazy I'll double check my source. 

Went on a hike. 

This think was a simple shelter. It's a newly built place but super cool. 

On the same trail we found this wire and I played on it. 

I didn't make it all the way across... 


Mom gave me breakfast in Gator colors by mistake. I explained it to her and we giggled. 

We purchased dirt (different brand than what is shown here) to work in the garden that runs alongside the fence. I love moms outfit here. She's so cute!!!
 
Saw a VERY tiny library. 

Went to an Arts, Plants & Craft Fair

Met this guy! He makes wooden ties! They are cut to be flexible and I have to say... They are absolutely awesome. 


PLEASE TRASH LAKE!?! Whaaaat?? 
Opooohhhh Please Remove Trash From Lake!!!

Went to The Stanstead Stone Circle in Canada!!


I'm assuming that says "Feed The Bears."

Flower children in Magog, Canada

Did you know there's a Canadian Walmart? It's weird to walk around in it. Almost everything is in French. 

Almost every business had white writing on their front windows.  

In the bathroom in Canada. Does it say Employees must wash hands. 


Jammin on some banjo. 

Vaca is not over yet! Tomorrow is my free day. Mom said she will do whatever I want to do... What should I do within reason?